What is Self-Love?

That is the question I am asked most often as a Yoni Egg and Self-Love coach. HOw do I love myself?

A lot of people assume that because they eat right, go to the gym, get facials and pedicures that they must love themselves but self-love is about much more than that. Those things are what I call self-care.

Think of it this way; Self-care is like washing your car – it looks good and feels good but you still have to put gas and oil in it and get it serviced regularly in order for the car to run smoothly. A car wash isn’t going to deal with any of that, is it?

That doesn’t mean that self-care – all the facials and pedicures and long, hot soaks in the bath – aren’t good for you or that they aren’t valid parts of your self-love journey, they just aren’t the whole journey. There is so much more to self-love than those simple, self-care routines.

So what exactly is self-love? What does it take to love ourselves?

In my opinion, self-love is about loving and accepting all of yourself – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Let’s face it we all have traits that we would rather hide – parts of our self that we are ashamed of or that we would like to deny or that make us feel uncomfortable. Whether it is to do with our sexuality or our emotions or some other aspect of our self until we can feel at peace and deep sense of acceptance of who we are and how we show up in the world we don’t truly love ourselves.

Being compassionate with ourselves can be as simple as remembering that somewhere deep inside of us is a younger version of us who needs to feel loved and accepted. When we can tap into them and love them, then we can begin to heal and shift into a more compassionate space. When we are coming from that place of self-compassion and self-love it is easier to have that same compassion and love for others. Until we get to that space we are judging others just as harshly as we judge ourselves which benefits neither of us in the long run.

It takes courage to love and accept yourself, the courage to be your own person and to not give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks. getting to that point takes work and dedication and it’s not a journey that ever really ends. Sure you will get to a point where you care less and less about the opinion of others… right up until someone makes a comment that triggers a pain point for you and you will slip. The slip might be only momentarily or it might be something that you angst over for weeks and that is perfectly okay.

self-love
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Each time we are triggered is a new layer of discovery, of what lies underneath the pain and it usually goes back to an early childhood memory. This is not because our parents were bad people or even that we had a bad childhood. Our subconscious mind, the part of us that holds all our limiting beliefs and stories about how the world works, was formed in the first 7 to 8 years of life. Just pause for a moment and think about how much of that time you were preverbal and soaking up all the body language and unsaid messages that were being conveyed. Now think about how little awareness you had about the world in those first 7 -8 years of life, how you were soaking up all the messages from pictures, stories, the tone of voice, micro-expressions, body language, words, all those millions of pieces of information from all the people around you. You had no way of interpreting any of that or filtering it through years of knowledge. Nope, you soaked it all up like a sponge and it has been ruling your life ever since, without you even realizing it.

Discovering and dissecting all of those subconscious beliefs and reframing them from the perspective of adult you are the cornerstone of self-love: Does this serve me? Is this true? Who would I be if I didn’t believe this? What can I do to change this belief?

In the Gorgeous Goddess Sessions, we dive into these old beliefs, unpack them and release them. Plus you are given the tools to keep doing the work long after your sessions end. Click the link to find out more.

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