Do you remember the story of Peter Pan? Whenever a child said they didn’t believe in fairies a fairy would die.

I believe the same thing happens to us. Every time we say how much we hate a part of our bodies a small part of us dies, on the inside.

It is a constant, negative spiral of self hate. all around me I see the most gorgeous women and they say to me “Oh I couldn’t be naked in front of my husband” or “I hate my thighs” or “If I just lost 10 pounds I would be happy”

Did you feel it? Did you feel the negative impact of that inside your body?

I did.

 It is like a slow, imperceptible wilting. A withering of that internal flame that is your self confidence.Slowly but surely it becomes dimmer and dimmer until one day it is snuffed out altogether and all you are left with is self loathing.

Not pretty.

Now we blame the media, and it sure does have a lot to answer for, but it’s also our internal dialogue that is doing the damage. Every cell in your body ( and there is over a trillion of them!) is listening to every thought that you think, every word that you say and  sees every negative look that you give yourself in the mirror.

You are your own worst enemy and it is time to STOP!

Start loving yourself from the inside out NOW! Not when you lose weight or start exercising or give up smoking or can fit into those perfect jeans. NOW!

Because now is when your life is happening. Now is when you get to make the memories. Now is all that you have.

Do you really want to waste your one precious life ( ok if you believe in reincarnation you might have more who knows?)  WAITING?

When I was younger and skinnier I was a complete bitch ( I know ! Hard to believe right? ) I would sneer at fat people on the beach and wonder who they thought they were wearing bathing costumes and swimming ( I cringe now but I was young and vain and shallow. Oh and also not at all happy with my own body) so when I became fat ( or voluptuous as I prefer to call it) there was no way I would be caught dead in a bathing suit at the beach. Instead I gave up swimming. And I LOVED swimming ( well splashing about really)

Who did that hurt? Yup only me. Because ( wait for it, this is the newsflash!) NOBODY ELSE CARES WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE! (Read that again . Take as many times as you like . I’ll wait). When this finally sunk into my brain, I bought myself a swimsuit and started swimming again. I didn’t realise quite how much I had missed it and now I just think about all the long, hot summers I sat watching everyone else swim. Not any more!

They are too busy worrying about there own lumps and bumps and perceived imperfections to worry about how you look!! ( I KNOW! I can hear your mind being blown from here)

So whatever thing it is that you have been putting off doing until the magic day came when you were finally the right size, the right shape and all parts of you looked exactly like one of those gorgeous  (fake, photo shopped, plastic surgery enhanced ) models ( who are starving and long for nothing more than a decent meal) GO DO IT!

If you are worried about being naked in front of your husband please just realise he LOVES you, all of you, the wrinkles, the bumps, the stretchmarks that you got from birthing his children, the saggy boobs (see the last phrase), the cellulite and because love is blind , he doesn’t even really notice them. When you show up naked for him he is delighted because he gets to see all of you and touch you and lick you and grope you and he LOVES it!

If you are newly, back in the dating game and worried about all of the above and how men will look at you  I SWEAR, hand on my heart, by the time you get naked with a guy all he is thinking is “Naked woman in my bed, I am so getting laid tonight”and that’s it!!!

Get comfy with your bod, it’s where you live. I bet you are far more understanding of your BFF’s flaws than you are of your own so become your own best friend. Next time you look in the mirror talk to your reflection like you are your best friend.
A while ago I wrote on my mirror with lipstick “Good morning gorgeous! I love you”. Waking up to that everyday helps me feel good about myself . I also give thanks for all my body does for me , every day.
Try it for yourself and see how much better you feel.

If you would like help getting comfortable in your own skin, or developing a better relationship with yourself or would like to deepen your existing relationship with your partner click here

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