We know we are supposed to love ourselves.
When I started writing this article I Googled ‘self love” as you do and there were more than one million, seven hundred and ninety thousand results for it so we are all looking for more advice, more tips , more information on how we are supposed to love ourselves more.
And now there is one more article to add to the list.
So why is loving our self so hard? Shouldn’t it be something that we just do instinctively?
Yes… and no.
The very nature of our mind is fear, doubt and judgement. When we are fist born into this world we trust that our cries will be answered and that our needs will be met and that we will be loved – unconditionally- just for existing. It only takes our cries to go unanswered or for our caregivers to disappear-even if they are coming right back – for doubt to enter our mind. Maybe we aren’t lovable. Maybe there is something else we need to be doing or being in order to earn that love.
This is not to blame our parents as they are only doing the best that they can at the time. No, I’m merely showing how the first seeds of doubt enter our mind and this is with the most loving, caring and nurturing parents. Imagine what it is like if your parents are not those paragons of virtue. Instead your parents were stressed out , having to work two jobs, wondering how they were going to pay the next month’s bills and you begin to see why we are all so flawed and striving so hard for love and acceptance.
Now we’ve identified the problem let’s look at the solutions:
Sounds simple but it is time to realise that you are pretty awesome. You always have been – you just forgot. In our quest for approval from our parents and then the world, we forgot how awesome we actually are. We lost touch with our innate awesomeness.
Watch any baby for a few minutes and you will see that they have no fucks to give about what anyone else thinks of them. They are just getting on with the business of being their awesome selves
As a daily reminder of your awesome find a picture of you at the youngest age possible and remember that you were once that innocent and lovable. Tell yourself how much you love yourself each day while looking at that pic and before you know it you’ll be loving you more.
(2) Talk nicely to yourself
Our whole body listens to the words that we speak and to the thoughts that we think and that literally, shapes our body. Our thoughts impact how our cells grow and replicate.
Masaru Emoto did a study on the way words impacted the structure of water. He photographed water molecules that were repeatedly told “I hate you” “You are Ugly” or “I love you”. The result are startling and since our body is made up of 80%water the same applies to our cellular structure.
(3) Develop happy habits:
Happy habits are things that you do, every day, to maintain your sense of well being.
Self love isn’t about the occasional massage or facial. It is daily, consistent actions that show you how much you love and value yourself – all of yourself. It is easy to think “well, I’m going to the gym so I must love myself” or “I’m meditating every day so I must love yourself”
The trick is to love all aspects of yourself and be a well-rounded person. The Native Americans have a saying the we are each a house with four rooms: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual and that we need to go into each room, every day, even if only to keep it aired.
Having something that you do to fuel each aspect of yourself is the key to self love. How are you looking after your physical body? What are you doing for your emotional and mental wellbeing? Are you nurturing your spiritual self?
(4) Live your life:
In this day of social media it is sooooo easy to look at others’ lives and think that somehow yours is not matching up or develop FOMO (fear of missing out).
The truth is we have no idea of what is really going on in someone else’s life. They are only showing the bits that they want to be seen so live your own life, in your own way.
Comparing yourself to someone else is a waste of your life.
(5) Use a yoni egg:
Yoni eggs are one of the greatest personal development tools that I know of. They heal us of shame and guilt and teach us to love the one part of our bodies that is taboo.
Tuning in and connecting to this aspect of our selves is truly transformational and I will be sharing more about it in my upcoming webinar on Sunday October 7. Make sure to sign up and a replay link will be sent out after the event.