In the bible ( Mark 12:31 in case you are interested) it states: You shall love thy neighbor as thyself. The trouble is we have been taught that the important part of that quote is “Love thy neighbor” when in reality the most important ( so important I am using bold and italics) part is “as thy self”
Yup, it’s right there in the bible ( so it must be (a) true and (b) important) that we are supposed to love ourselves. The trouble is we weren’t raised to love ourselves. That was frowned upon as selfish and greedy and vain. We weren’t important . Other people were and we should shower them with love and affection and well, everything.
Well I say a very profound “Fuck that” to that idea. Because we cannot truly, fully and completely give something that we do not have. we have to fill ourselves up with love first so that the overflowing love we have for ourselves, flows out to others and saturates the whole world ( love that imagery. Sure it may be a bit cheesy but go with it anyway)
So let’s dive right in to the new commandments shall we?
10 Commandments for Self Love
(1) Be Kind. Be kind to yourself first and foremost. Too often we berate ourselves “Why are you so stupid? That was pathetic. what a loser ” Stop it.
(2) Be Still. Nap when you need to. Meditate. Especially when you don’t have time. Make time, don’t try and find it. Just declare: this time is for meditating and make it so. Do it daily. For five minutes or thirty or an hour. Just do it.
(3) Be Active. Take a walk. Dance. Hit the gym. Swim. Just move. Find a way that you love and keep doing it.
(4) Be generous. Buy yourself that book you’ve been wanting. Give yourself a gift on Mother’s day, Valentine’s Day, your birthday and Xmas. You deserve it. Take yourself out for lunch, you don’t need to wait for someone else to take you. Buy yourself flowers.
(5) Be Committed. Honor the promises you make to yourself the same way you would making a promise to someone else. You wouldn’t let them down so don’t let yourself down either.
(6) Be Grateful. Write a list of all that you are grateful for each day. Do a minimum of five. The more you give appreciation for the things already in your life, the more good things you will notice and the more will show up.
(7) Be Loving. Every day look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself how much you love you. EVERY. Day.
We tell our friends, family and lovers how much we love them ( you do, right?) so make it part of your daily routine to say it to yourself.
(8) Be Strong. Learn to say “No”. No is a complete sentence, it requires no explanations, no excuses. “Do you want to come to the party?’ “No”. Set clear boundaries of what is and isn’t acceptable to you and then stand firm.
(9) Be your own cheerleader. “Good job. Well done. That was amazing.” Take time to acknowledge when you have done something to be proud of ( like writing an awesome blog post! Good job Caitlin *pats self on back* ). Validate yourself, don’t wait for someone else to say it. Do the Happy Dance when you finish something. ( don’t know how? Just dance and be happy)
(10) Be your own BFF. Having a bad day? What would your best friend suggest? Go do that . You are the only person you will be friends with for your whole life so check in with yourself and be your own best friend.
As an added bonus for reading this far here’s a couple more for you:
(11) Use glitter. It’s hard to be down when there is glitter involved. Don’t feel like vacuuming the floor? Add a dash of glitter and your whole house is instantly transformed into a magical place of wonder and delight. Try it if you don’t believe me. Because frankly, life is too short to worry about housework!
(12) Wear your tiara. Real or imagined, life is pretty damn fun in a tiara
Right, that’s me off to sprinkle glitter, put on my tiara and deal with the rest of my day . Oh and make sure to pop over to to sign up for my newsletter to receive your cope of the FREE A Goddess’s Daily Ritual for Self Love